That Floating Excrement Was Way Too Symbolic! It's the TV Disappointments of the Past Year.

Looking back, we consider the television offerings of the past year, a selection of shows emerge not for their brilliance, but for their spectacular shortcomings. From cringe-inducing spin-offs to confusingly poor docuseries, here are the productions that left us utterly bewildered or simply reaching for the remote.

And Just Like That

How to start with this divisive follow-up? Burdened with dreadful scripts, painful arcs (we demand better for Miranda!), and a paltry 71 seconds of fan-favourite Samantha, the show fought to justify its existence. For a moment, as the third series began, it looked like it had finally hit its stride. Then arrived an episode all about Seema’s natural deodorant. Little surprise the creator declared this would be the last series. It concluded on a bum note; the closeup of Miranda’s toilet flooded with poo was just way too on-the-nose. Still, viewers certainly had a hoot picking apart every single “wtf?” moment. And as Carrie – once again single – danced around her palatial townhouse to Barry White, who didn’t let out a small sob?

The Kim Kardashian Drama

‘Can Kim Kardashian act? Of course she can’t.’

But that was practically the least of this drama's problems. The recipient of a exceedingly uncommon no-star review, it was difficult to know where to begin listing the problems. The hilariously wooden writing? The mind-numbing veneration of wealth and materialism? The seemingly wilful procession of tropes? Acting so poor they felt borderline malicious? Suffice it to say “each and every one” and never speak of this series again. Except, a new season has been commissioned, so we’re probably going to have to.

The Charlie Sheen Documentary

Considering the restraining orders, domestic violence allegations and parental failures, it’s fair to say Charlie Sheen has been a bad boy. Not you’d really have known it from this three-part docuseries which chuckled along at Sheen’s various bouts of reckless hedonism while failing to tell us a single thing we didn’t already know. Instead, it felt as if this loose cannon was being pandered to, so any pity this show might evoke should be reserved for the people who have had to endure proximity with this charismatic but flippant narcissist.

The Iris Affair

Naturally we understood it was ridiculous from the outset: a thriller about a supercomputer known as Charlie Big Potatoes that could either solve global crises – or annihilate all of humanity. We stuck with it out of pure admiration for its leads … but by the end, it felt like even they had given up trying. One barely cared when his character died, and the other ultimately hacking Charlie with an axe … in painfully slow-motion. Talk about giving up the ghost.

The Gangster Drama

Dodgy characters convening in deserted boxing gyms? A certain band's Firestarter blaring in club scenes? The late 90s called and demands its crime drama back.

In truth, that is harsh on the gangland dramas of the late 90s. Many seem a bit old-fashioned now, but at least they didn’t endure the embarrassment of having to indulge unconvincing accents. But there were plenty of other problems. Primarily that it was just really boring; a dispute over narcotics territory between various cockney rogues which seemed a bit basic.

The Meghan Markle Series

Given the degree to which she provokes the ire of certain performatively angry commentators, it’s almost easy to admire the Duchess of Sussex’s various ventures into quaint homemaking as deliberate provocations. But then you watch them and are compelled to admit that in this case, they might have a point. It’s like watching a homeware catalogue come to life; a poster for wine o’clock with ideas of grandeur; a parade of snoozing dogs, humming beehives, sentimental sayings and pointless crafting “tips” you’ll forget instantly. All supported by vast, largely unearned wealth. Ugh.

The Beckham Documentary

There are clearly fascinating things to be said about both Victoria Beckham and her struggles with career, self-image, self-acceptance. But for whatever reason, this three-part series opted not to explore them. Instead, the viewing was akin to reading a sales brochure. She obviously has every right to bridle at what she describes as her “miserable cow” image. But unfortunately, she didn’t do herself any helps with this cagey non-event of a series.

The Inheritance

It should have been the next cultural phenomenon – except even more extravagant, with a famous star playing dead and a well-known personality managing her inheritance. What more could you ask for? As players competed, there was plenty of betrayal and arguing. But the rules quickly became incomprehensible: it’s even now too confusing to detail what precisely was happening. Even more disappointingly, we only saw glimpses of the star via prerecorded videos. The series ended up smelling of a programme that was straining desperately to emulate something way beyond it.

Too Much

How do you succeed a show that defined a generation? The expectation was immense for this glitzy romantic comedy about Jessica, a hopeful New Yorker who lands in London with a shattered romance. The star took her biggest role by the horns and was joyous to watch, embodying Austen levels of romantic ideals. But it was all very glossy and, ironically, was insufficient. Plus, the abundance of famous friends involved felt icky.

The Sketch Show Return

Not good enough to be ‘patchy’.

Given the smart recruitment of talented younger comics, expectations were high. But unhappily, most of it fell flat. A particular sketch was a one-note joke milked to a husk but repeated in every episode. One star seemed too ready to slip into a familiar irate mode. The behind-the-scenes sketches, in contrast, simply inspired the idea that they should probably have remained in there a bit longer.

The Knox Dramatisation

This dramatisation of the story of Amanda Knox was overseen by Amanda Knox and pretty much exclusively showcased the viewpoint of Amanda Knox. So, while there probably is an compelling drama to be made about the tragic 2007 murder, this was not it. The subject matter needed to be treated sensitively. Instead, the series laboured awkwardly to find the right voice, lurching from strangely jaunty, slightly stylised farce to ultimately, real-life horror. Complex? Arguably. A complete mess? Absolutely.

The Maths Genius Thriller

We love the lead actor … but did we believe him playing the greatest maths genius since, a man so smart he’s on the brink of a breakthrough that could destabilise society? Nope! This international thriller about secret services spying on – and killing off – intellectuals frankly got more farcical by the second. Silliness-by-numbers.

The Bonnie Blue Documentary

This uncritical portrait followed the online personality notorious for sexual exploits as she undertook her biggest challenge yet. What on earth would possess her? What we craved was far greater examination of her true psychology, plus those of the men in the queue. They could at least have interviewed the legendary mum who showed up to haul her son out of the queue. What we got was disturbing imagery and zero interrogation of her infamy whatsoever. It's staggering to consider, the filmmaker has a young daughter too.